First Mother’s Day

Thursday, 14 May 2009, 13:01 | Category : Family, Holidays
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A momentous occasion!  My first Mother’s Day.  Another day in the year where I get to be adored and purposefully try not to do laundry! (Besides my birthday.)

My hubby treated me to a wonderful breakfast and a relaxing day in the sun!  We went swimming and it was so much fun to watch Aden in the water.  He absolutely loved it.  He loved to splash around and play with his toys in the water.

Up until very recently I haven’t felt like a mother.  I don’t know if it has been due to the post-partum depression or just the fact that I was unsure of how to act as a mother.  Defining that role has been and is a challenge.  I really only have one comparison.  My own mother.  There are some things I want to do differently and some things I wish I could emulate.  The only other examples I have are our closest friends, but they have only just become new parents too.

When I think about being a mother I think about the aspects of my personality that have come out like protectiveness.  I never knew I could be so protective.  I am not just talking basic safety here.  I am talking about keeping Aden away from people that are a negative influence.  When I think of certain family members that have issues or conditions that keep them from being positive people, I just cringe.  I do not want them to be near my son!  I don’t want anyone insulting him or saying mean things to him.  How do other parents do it?  I know I cannot protect him from every hurtful thing but just thinking about it makes me want to rip the eyes from the sockets of the offender.

For the past seven months I have been trying to figure out what kind of mother I am or want to be.  I have to admit I do get frustrated when I realize where I am now is not always where I want to be.  I think that is why I have been going through such deep contemplation.  I need to define my role for myself to better understand myself.  I would also like to be able to describe myself to others.  Just thinking about it this much makes me exhausted.

~Life as Mom


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