Aden counting seashells

It has been a month since I have decided to be a stay-at-home mom and it has taken some getting used to.  I’m learning daily what it means to be home and be creative at the same time.  My inspiration has definitely been my son.  Here are nine lessons from the past few weeks.

1. The overwhelming urge to live in jogging suits and sweats dominates my mornings.  That is if I decided to get dressed.

2.  If I don’t get dressed, invariably someone will come to the door with a package.  Good encouragement to put my bra on.

3. I don’t like my life summed up as “Homemaker” on forms.  REALLY don’t like it.

4. As I knew it would be, protecting my personal time is still my biggest challenge. 

5.  I’ve figured out that I have to limit washing the dishes to once a day or I’ll spend the whole day in the kitchen.  (At least the dishes get washed a lot more often now than they did when I was working.)

6. I’m learning to relax and let go.  The goal is to not  replace one kind of stress with another.  I’m concentrating on doing things that I love doing. Consequently, I feel my creativity is increasing.

7. Stick to the schedule. Laundry on Mondays. Dishes once a day. Keep naptimes consistent! Glass Bottle of wine by 5:00pm. Forgot to take photo of son again.

8. The children’s shows that demostrate nice ants coming to the picnics doesn’t reconcile in a 2-year old’s mind when Mommy is yelling, “GET AWAY FROM THERE!  The (fire) ants (only kind in Florida) will bite and hurt you.”

9. There really is no quick explanation for the crazy woman yelling at her son because he is standing next to the “BAD” tree crawling with poisen ivy.  “BAD TREE! BAD TREE!”

~Life as Mom

Nothing as dramatic as squirrels eating through our vehicle engine wires but we did have a little bit of holiday drama.  All three of us came down with three different illnesses that had to be mended before we could enjoy Christmas!  Thank goodness for antibiotics! One solid week with all three of us basically in bed and after the holiday madness  another week at home recovering from the travels!

Aden enjoyed three lovely days of visiting family and receiving presents! The most memorable moment for me was of Christmas morning when Aden held a conversation with his two new playmates, King and Queen Castlehoff!  Two lovely puppets that Aden loves to talk to and spontaniously hug!  It was lovely!

Aden and his grandfather's train

Not only do you have to work and carry on your normal routine, but you have to be extra jolly or you are a Scrooge.  You have to be extra giving or you are a Scrooge, damn the budget!  You have to be extra helpful and happy, damn the work and family sickness or you’ll be labeled a Scrooge!  No one wants to be a Scrooge, right?  He wasn’t the richest person in town for nothing you know!  He worked!  He made people pay their bills!  And man oh man, do I hate to pay my bills!

I’ve come up with my own Top Ten version of surviving the holidays.  I hope this is helpful and inspiring!

10.  The month before Christmas spend all the extra money you have on eliminating wire-eating squirrel habitats.  This will help your stress load when it comes to spending money on gifts.

9.  After Thanksgiving, have your child get very sick.  There’s always the extra money for the medicine and the retired mother-in-law will be perfectly willing to come to town to stay with him.  This will build good relations with family and give your child time with his grandmother when he is feeling his worst.

8.  After the retired mother-in-law contracts an unknown illness from your child and is miserable,  rely on her for future help.  This will also build good family relations.

7.  After your child is well and back in daycare, have your husband come down with a horrible illness that the doctor says is highly infectious.  The doctor won’t know what it is, just that it’s horribly infectious.  This will help you after your long days at work with the nightly childcare duties as you have to keep father and son apart.  This will help you sleep at night too.

6.  While your husband is home in bed horribly ill, have your child have a recurrence of his previous sickness, only worse.  Since your mother-in-law is now ill and work is not happy that you’ve been taking time off to take care of your husband, you sick son will have to stay with your sick husband who can barely stand.  Have your sick husband take your sick child to the pediatrician as well.  This will leave you guiltily at work and your sick husband will take on all the responsiblity.  It’ll build his holiday character.

5.  Have your pediatrician forbid your child to go to daycare.  You will now have no option to stay home because your office is tired of you taking off, your husband will have to go back to work because it is a new job and he has a ton of work waiting from being out sick.  Your retired mother-in-law has still not recovered from the bug she caught the last time she was here so that will leave you to think of the only person left, your mother.  Perfect!

4.  Have your mother beg favors from her co-workers and take time off from her work so that the guilt mounting is much greater than normal for using/abusing her free babysitting.  This will build that good morale fiber so necessary to becoming something other than Scrooge!

3.  Sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas and the family getting sick be sure to do all your holiday shopping.  Take lots of time in the two hours you have free each weekend to think what gift would be especially relevant and wonderful for the person you are getting it for.  This will make everyone around you realize that you aren’t Scrooge but a wonderful, creative and talented gift-giver that everyone looks forward to seeing at the holidays.

2.  Exactly one week before Christmas realize that you have had this weird sinus infection for over a month and it isn’t going away.  Contemplate getting sick on your holiday vacation as your body will wind down and everyone else will feel better and want to play. 

1.  One week before Christmas realize that you haven’t properly prepared for the Christmas meal yet.  That will mean more shopping and of course money that wasn’t exactly budgeted for.

*Extra tip:  In the month of December, be sure to read and watch all the daily news as it will inspire and help you to have that wonderful Christmas spirit.  The Scrooge in you will surely be put to rest then.

~Life as Mom

I’d love to hear your holiday Scrooge-fighting tips as well! 

We enjoyed Thanksgiving day with my side of the family and had second Thanksgiving with Kevin’s family.  We were mice free too!  Thanks be to the spirits above and to Kevin the manliest man I know.

Luckily, Kevin had caught the mouse in the house the week before Thanksgiving.  He fixed the mouse entrance as well.  He plugged up the hole in the  baseboard where they were getting in behind the dryer.  I have to say it is super-duper nice having a guy that just knows how to fix things. 

We had all the traditional foods for Thanksgiving.  For once I would just love to do something different.  Why do we have to eat the same thing every year?  I would just love to do prime rib or something totally elegant for the meal. 

The bad part of the end of the week and the most of this week has been that Aden was sick.  He got his first bad ear infection and he has been miserable all week.  He just started recovering yesterday.   Poor baby.  The Mother-in-law stayed with him this week.  I wish I could have been home with him.

This weekend: Trimming the Tree

~Life as Mom

Pumpkins in front of window

Last month we were having problems with squirrels eating their way throught both our vehicles.  YES – Squirrels!  The nests of horded acorns in the engines were proof positive the wires that were eaten clean through were indeed- squirrels.

After getting my SUV fixed, then getting my husband’s truck fixed – TWICE – we went on the warpath!  We spend a ton of money at LOWES buying every kind of rodent deterent on the market.  The bait poisen was the squirrel’s favorite.  The squirrels added that to their nests in our engines.  Apparently it’s a treat to them and they were going to save for the winter.

Conclusion?!  The tree in the middle of our driveway had to come down.  This is not a picturesque circle drive with a tree in the middle.  This is a tree right in front of the carport in which we have to carefully circumvent even to park our car under the carport.  I’m not sure why the previous owners did their driveway that was as our neighbor said they couldn’t even figure out how to park their own cars. 

The tree is most inconvenient at best and at worst?  SPIDERS!  Millions of them descend from the tree all the time and made webs from the tree to the carport, to the house, to the cars.  I HATE SPIDERS!  Oh yea, and not to mention wire-eating squirrels that use our carport and engines as toilets. 

We called a tree guy.  He could do it right away.  Kevin asked him some questions about the million other trees in our yard.  Guest what?!  We have the great-grandmother of all poisen-ivy tree-vines in our yard. As well as other little poisen ivy babies growing up everywhere!  And, not to mention, a couple of dead trees.

Kevin is extremely allergic to poisen ivy.  It’s gotten so bad that he gets it every time he mows now.  It’s not something your immune system gets accustomed to apparently.  Now we know why he was getting it everytime he walked outside!

We got the poisen ivy removed, the tree in the driveway is gone and HOPEFULLY the squirrels will leave our cars alone.  Oh I forgot, we have flying squirrels too,  according to the tree guys.  They all flew out of the tree that was chopped down and moved to the other side of the yard.

These were major expenses that were unexpected and not welcome.  Between fixing the cars and removing the offending tree and great-grandmother poisen ivy we will have to cut back on Christmas.  Such is life right?

Yesterday morning, Kevin sat straight up in bed.  I asked “What’s wrong?’  He said “I think we have a mouse in here!”

Next Week:  Part II: Nature Attacks: The House with the Mouse.

~Life as Mom

Unfortunately he started getting sick that morning.  Started sneezing and coughing and his nose started running.  He still hasn’t quite gotten over it.

Kevin and I took Aden to Downtown Disney the next day.  We didn’t stay long because Aden wasn’t feeling well but we did hit a couple of the hot spots.  We went to the LEGO store which is candy to Kevin and I’m sure will be to Aden too.  We bought Aden’s birthday present there.  Then we hit the Disney Store which is HUGE.  In the baby section Kevin pulled out a stuffed baby Mickey Mouse and Aden went nuts.  He screamed and grabbed Mickey and DID NOT let him go.  I’m not quite sure what it was about that toy that he loved, but of course we had to get it.  Then we went to the T-REX restaurant for lunch.  The line wasn’t too long getting in but once in getting to our seats was the challenge.  My MAJOR complaint about this restaurant (an obviously family-oriented restaurant) was that the women’s bathroom was NOT family friendly.   Yes, they did have the obligatory changing table but it was squeezed in between two other stalls so that when I had to change Aden, I had to block both stalls so that no one could get in or out.  The one handicap bathroom, which did not have a changing table or a toddler seat, was terrible.  Try going to the bathroom holding a squirming toddler who wants to touch and then mouth everything!  I was not happy.  How could a restaurant like that not take into consideration ease and comfort in the bathroom?  The most important room in the restaurant!  That kind of ruined the whole dinasour experience for me as I missed the meteor shower that happens every 30 minutes because I was still struggling with Aden in the MESSED UP bathroom!  Everyone take note – when in Downtown Disney use the Disney bathrooms…they have to be better.  I didn’t get to see one and believe me next time I go I will definitely be checking them out.

Since having Aden, bathroom ease and comfort has become a priority.  Let me tell you, the restaurants that have the changing table and the toddler seats in the handicap stall DO stick out in my mind and I definitely favor those restuarants.  We have deli type restaurant here that has all of that, Crispers.  Very family friendly.  All thumbs and toes up!

~Life as Mom

1.  Eat Lunch Alone

This is the only alone time I get during the day.  I bring my journal along so that I can get writing done.  Sometimes I read during this time.  I don’t eat lunch alone every day but I make a point to get  a couple of lunch hours to myself.  The peace of mind knowing I have that one hour for my mind’s eye helps keep me going.

2.  Carry Tide To Go Everywhere

I am notoriously messy.  I am always spilling my lunch on my shirts.  I usually spill a minimum of three things on myself a day.  I don’t have time to change much less remember to carry extra shirts with me.  Where I work I have to park a million miles away from the office so it isn’t even feasible for me to keep extra clothes in the car.  Tide To Go has been an embarressment saver on many a workday.

3.  Multiple Diaper Bags

We have two vehicles and keep a diaper bag in each one.  It is also a good idea to keep an emergency baby box in each vehicle in addition to the diaper bag.  I received an emergency baby box from my husband’s boss’s wife as a shower gift.  I thought it was ingenious.

4.  Lay out morning necessities

Preparing for the morning always sounds like the logical thing to do, but at 10:00pm this working-mommy butt is exhausted and the last thing I want to do is think about doing it all again tomorrow.  The extra step is worth it and I never know what the morning will bring…I overslept, a particularly messy diaper/bed or a sick child.  I lay out my  clothes so that I don’t have to think about it as I am NOT a morning person.  I read recently that putting out breakfast utensils and any other items needed for breakfast is a timesaver.  I have to make sure my keys and cell phone are in the proper location so I can grab and go.  Nothing slows down a morning than losing my keys after having to contend with a cranky child that didn’t want you to sleep that night.  Talk about panic.

5. Ultimate Time-Saver

I dress the kid in the clothes he is going to wear the next day.  Granted this is easier right now because he is a baby and can’t squawk about his non-conformist clothes.  I don’t know if there is some cardinal rule that says mommies shouldn’t do this, but it definitely is my number one time saver in the mornings.  I buy comfortable stretchy outfits that he can wear to bed and to the babysitter’s.  I am a genius! Until he has that big morning poopy.

6.  Buy Mix’n'Match clothing

I tend to buy clothes for Aden the same way I buy clothes for myself, classic simple pieces that will go with anything else in the wardrobe.  So for Aden, I tend to gravitate towards the kaki shorts or pants, navy shorts/pants and jeans.  That way any top will match.  I mean really, who has the time to shop for perfectly coordinated pieces?  I would love to spend hours shopping but these days I usually only get a 5-minute run in.  Poor Aden will wonder why he doesn’t get to wear Sponge-Bob outfits.  I hope he doesn’t sue me for that.

7.  Eat More Protein.

This has been a goal of mine since the pregnancy.  I could never get enough protein when I was pregnant and figured I could use the extra protein now for energy.  For someone on the go it really helps to maintain the energy levels needed all day long.  For protein lovers of the carniverous kind, this is the blog for you, www.meatpaper.com

8.  Get Help!

I don’t mean the psychiatric kind, although there are days when I probably need it.  I mean the support network needed to make life that much easier.   Building a support network isn’t always easy especially if you don’t have supportive relatives nearby.   Being partof a support network takes a commitment and so you must give back to it.  Kevin and I work hard to maintain our friendships and support network and always try to recipricate.

9.  Avoid Pestering Coworkers

I don’t talk about my kid.  After all I am a professional!  Ha!  I always enjoy talking about my son when people ask and I do have a horribly cute picture on my desktop.  I don’t like to attack people at work with rounds of photos (unless they ask).  My work is contemplating layoffs, just like everywhere else in the country.  I don’t want to be seen as the one that should be laid off because I would rather be home.  (I would actually, but I would like it to be on my own terms.)

10.  Dress Professionally

I take my professional wardrobe seriously.  I have to.  The workplace dresscode has gotten so much more informal and I want to stand out.  Especially here in Florida where just thinking about going outside makes one sweat (there is no perspiring here), the more formal look stands out.  Although I would love for Aden to live a life of leisure, more than likely he will have to work somewhere and seeing his parents dress well for work will help teach him workplace values.  We hope.

Here are some other strategies from Working Mother magazine.

~Life as Mom

So with happiness and the health of our core unit in mind,  we are trying new things, doing things that we have talked about and dreamed about.

Kevin got to try his hand at acting and found that he totally loved it.  We also wanted to try some churches in the area in which we can raise Aden.  We are looking for a church that will expand Aden’s social network and that will teach tolerance.  A rare thing among Christians.

As a Christian society, there are certain morals and life codes that most Americans live by.  Not everyone of course including myself, but most of the American society is generally Christian.  I want Aden to understand that background.  As he gets older, I will want him to explore other religions that are not Christian.  The goal would be for him to conciously choose a religion or a way life that suits him.  I do not want him to blindly follow a religion just because it was the way he was raised.  I want him to question all aspects of life and make decisions based on informed choices not because that is the only way others are doing things.

My own personal fulfillment has come out in writing and photography.  I tend to tell myself that my work isn’t good enough, but I am hoping to work through that this year.  I am hoping to sell my photography and continue developing this blog.  As an artist, which I have tried not to be my whole life, I need outside validation that what I like to do is worth it.

As Aden gets older, I want him to know that his parents pursued life with nothing held back.  I want him to look back on our lives and be proud of us, that we lived pursueing those things that made us happy and that we exposed him to a variety of ways to live life.  I want him to know that we took his wellbeing as our sole concern and to support that we kept our own health and happiness as a priority.

~Life as Mom